Stretching the Boundaries of Fear and Despair

La Teta Asustada (2009)

What do you know about fear, about despair? Have you really felt them? Have you felt them growing inside you fast, or slow like a plant, and overwhelm you to an extend when you stop thinking straight, when YOU simply STOP?....

I'm not the kind of person that panics or is so afraid that forgets to behave reasonably. But:

Once I was followed by a stray dog and for first time in my life I felt pure fear - a fear when your human brain kind of shuts down and you become an animal. Then it's all instinct, it's all nature. It's hunting season for you right now, in that particular moment. And you are the prey. 

There was a time I knew about panic - big biting ants were crawling all over my body, even under my pants....

And I often feel despair - every time when I'm depressed. I suppose all of you know what is like to be depressed, so I'm not going into needless explanations.

But all of my experience on these sensations is nothing. 

There is a movie about them that stretches their boundaries in a very personal and yet, community shared way - the Spanish-Peruvian production by Claudia Llosa  La Teta Asustada, or The Milk of Sorrow (2009). There is a lot of inner pain and some kind of tenderness flowing out the screen. 

The story of Fausta is a story about psyche slavery shown in a touching and feminine way. The Peruvian girl is "suffering from a rare disease called the Milk of Sorrow, which is transmitted through the breast milk of pregnant women who were abused or raped during or soon after pregnancy. While living in constant fear and confusion due to this disease, she must face the sudden death of her mother. She chooses to take drastic measures to not follow in her mother's footsteps" (Pusan International Film Festival).

The film meets us with the consequences of a war and the miserable present-day reality of poor Peruvians. It is not easy to watch. The action is slow and you feel like the time has nearly stopped. But it's not boring. It's overwhelming.

Pain is hidden under the Fausta's songs. Music becomes a salvation from what eats her away from the inside. A lot of tears afraid or too proud to flow out. And one potato as a symbol of Peru, myths and life.

In Spanish the name Fausta means fortunate. But does the young woman feel that way? I hope you will see for yourselves.